Of course, last night I went to bed at 9 pm. This morning got up at 6 am and I did 4th practice with Pathabi Jois counts. Exact five breaths in standing postures. Week 4 - Practice 4 done! My plan is to go to studio tomorrow for Half Primary Led class at 12:15 pm and on Sunday for Ashtanga level 1 at 3:15 pm. Week 5 is starting, Monday will be a rest day. I feel great...
As you know, most social things happened in the evenings, and the nights out actually never start until 9 pm. Before I used to follow the crowds and do the same. In order to do this I needed to use something to keep me awake, such as drinking two cups of coffee. I did, however, find that I was always struggling to stay awake, even with coffee. I would sit watching my friends leaping around, talking and having fun, while my whole body just felt like going to bed.
In my relationship, my marriage, again, by 9 pm I was always struggling to stay awake, and my Ex was working late so she would come to bedroom just to say goodnight. So many times I was forcing myself to stay awake until she comes from the work so that we can have some conversation. I used to stay on the net or watch all kinds of boring series on TV just to stay awake.
It was always a strange feeling for me to be awake and not to go to bed because it is just early in the night. The push to stay up made me feel constantly on edge, and by the time I got to bed I was so tired I often so hungry that I needed to eat something to put me to sleep. But this put me in a constant daily cycle of sleeping restlessly and feeling exhausted when I awoke.
During all of this I would often say to myself, why am I not going to bed when I am tired? Yet it kept on going; it continued to place a toll on my well being, and I was so irritable. What I found was that, when I tried to stay up later, the quality of my sleep was always deeply affected, I felt too hot and I sweat a lot in the sleep.
After divorce I am living alone and things changed. I am my own boss now. Really. In the beginning of September, I read on the net that the most natural sleep rhythm for our bodies is to be in bed by 9 pm, this being the time when our body is able to rest and gain optimum healing during the night. This for me was one of my life changing moments, and made so much sense. I could now feel that my body, since being a middle-aged, is asking me to go to bed around 9 pm. I realized I'm not the one who is abnormal, as there is a natural truth in our biological make up whereby being in bed by 9 pm is normal.
Since September I gave myself permission to go to bed when I was tired, and in particular to go to bed around 9 pm. Daily yoga practice became easy. At first, friends joked with me, but by now they all just got used to me going to bed early. I absolutely love being in bed by 9 pm, and I love taking the time early in the evening to go into a peaceful phase prior to going to bed. I usually read a book before falling to sleep. I love the mornings whether it is 5 am or 6 am. I like to be quiet, to watch sun rising, to actually feel the new day beginning before all of the usual daily traffic sounds.
Simple things make a huge amount of difference. Nowadays, I feel my yoga practice makes me stronger but I feel so much less tired than I ever did.